Hers/His Terical History

Prior to the rest of today's message---

I set up a, "Help Blow Out the Candle" fund for brother-in-law Dave, 

who celebrates his birthday today.  

The hope is to break his Guinness world record for well-wishes of 19.

I can't remember his email address but you can google it.  

After all, how many Daves can there BE?  C'MON, people!

History's cornucopia:  Cupid's origin is mythological.  

Not the 1st fake news, but long-lasting, nonetheless.  

Next up, there's the actual, "not fake news," being Saint Valentine's beheading...yikes!  

Later on, came Al Capone's competitors choosing this date for a shoot-em-up.  

However, as love wins out, Don Gibson crooned, "I Can't Stop Loving You" in1957. 

Shortly thereafter, 1959 brought the world together, 

when Connie Francis released her song, "Stupid Cupid."

More recently, amore lost a few steps when co-vid hit the streets.  

Face masks hid smiling faces, while handshakes and hugs were eliminated.  

Social contact became isolation.  

Worst of the worst was the denial of empathy by medical institutions, 

not allowing death-bed family contact.  Say what you want, my mind will not change!  

Lest we forget, there is absolutely nothing more comforting and warmer than a hug---

and all accomplished without a single word!  

This being the day wherein American Greetings makes a ton of $, I submit we say, 

"to hell with enforcement," and take time to hug SOMEone/ANYone!  

As for the perpetual maskers, lower it for a moment to show a full smile!

On to other Mischief in the Missive!  

Singularity of Pluralism:  Why izzit we have grooves, but no houses with rooves?  

Octopus = octopi; cactus = cacti; hippopotamus = hippopotami.  Why not Viri?    

(I'm sure you can come up with some of your own exampli.)

Have you ever noticed how the carpal tunnel pain increases 

when you try to remove the cap from the pill container?

Has anyone ever seen a copy of the invoice issued to Mexico for "The Wall That Didn't?"

I caught a few minutes of, "Special Forces: The Ultimate Test," the other evening, 

in between 94 stations carrying never-ending re-runs of, Forest Gump's Green Mile baptism at the church of Shawshank Redemption.  

The program is shot somewhere in the desert of Jordan.  

I guess the producers weren't aware of USA deserts.  Whatever.  

Nothing to be seen, save for a sleeping tent, mess hall, assemble area, 

gas chamber and small critique room.  

Those not measuring up are taken there with a hood over the head, 

then taken out in the same fashion.  Why the secrecy?  There's nothing there, so, 

what the hell?!?

That's it for now,  so, enjoy the day...OR...if you have a doobie, enjoy the daze!

Oh MY---How times have changed!

 The really tiny print in my local newspaper's sport section:

ON THIS DATE 

FEB. 6 1958 — Ted Williams signs a contract with the Boston Red Sox for $135,000, making him the highest paid player in major league history. On my calculator, Ted earned $1025 per game for a 154 game schedule.  

Today's $15 million contract for a 162 game schedule pays $61728 per game.  

$15 minimum wage grosses $31200 annually, meaning, it would take almost 2 years to pay for said player's 1 game.

And yet, at a "fan-o-rama," you'll have to wait in line to pay upwards of 20 bucks for an autograph!

As the song sings, "Nice work if you can get it"

Logic 101

 1. You're any color, sitting on a bridge rail or the roof a a multi-storied building, considering that "final step."  From nowhere appears at least one concerned person who tries to understand your frame of mind, thereby perhaps convincing you to reconsider.  Often, that person is a trained mediator, employed by the local municipality.  A soft, understanding conversation is used to instill a calm state of mind into you prior to that "final step."

2. You're any color, in a structure, holding 1 or more people hostage.  The local authorities have dispatched necessary personnel to the scene.  Included is an experienced negotiator as mentioned in the above situation.  Because a weapon is involved, step 1 is a concerted effort to calm the perpetrator via a loudspeaker from a safe distance.  All efforts are used to hopefully prevent harm.  If any hostage is released, that's a success, regardless of the final outcome.

3. You're a non-white, driving home from work, dinner or a date, when you see flashing lights in your rear view mirror.  A quick glance proves you're not speeding, you didn't disobey the most recent traffic light and you don't drink, smoke or do drugs.  As the flashing lights come closer, you hear an amplified voice ordering you to, "Pull over, shut the engine off and put your hands where I can see them!"  Confused, you do as ordered.  When the officer approaches, you ask if there's a problem.  His response is, "Shut up and get out of the vehicle!"  You are now officially confused and scared!  Still confused, you begin to ask the reason for the pullover, but the voice gets more demanding.  Dispatch was most likely notified because more police vehicles arrive and you're now surrounded.  What happens next can be anyone's guess.

1 & 2 above prove positive results of remaining calm.  

No.3 is not always possible because police departments can't afford a negotiator to be in every vehicle; officers can't always know what to expect in every encounter; officers are trained for possible circumstances based on history and new, impending probabilities.  Not an easy task when instant decisions might be required!

Sadly, video games promoting damage, mayhem and killing without remorse are available everywhere and are purchased by parents for gullible youngsters, with some of those parents seeking to disband those sworn to uphold the law.  Consider  school shootings brought on by video games.  Additionally sad are the TV programs, movie theaters and streamers showing the same mayhem, damage and killing.  The public is conditioned to enjoy/demand the thrills of it all.  More often, the authoritative side is depicted as violent.  A "go figure" moment indeed!

These days, the hurdles are "higher," as drugs erase common sense, thereby permitting explosive adrenaline to chart a damaging course the user cannot control or distinguish.  

Add to that the rising incidences of suicide bombers!  Although extremists purport a necessity, how can anyone justify bombing churches, temples, mosques, etc.?  Hardly any of these are predictable or preventable.  If you didn't already know, none of the organized religions condone the taking of another life.  Radicalism incites the insanity!

Considering all the above, I submit: If not already in place...For police academies and those already "on the job," training by negotiation veterans to address those alleged in a more calm/peaceful manner.  When you think about it, most of us have seen how a harsh moment or environment does nothing but produce high fences and nobody wins.

Post-Op This-N-That (Might have dropped some smarts on the O.R. floor)

Self-checkout conundrum: The replaced people are WHERE?!?  Not in any aisle where I need assistance!  Wallysmartz are slowly becoming echo chambers.  Question of the day...are all self-check items being scanned?

 

Solstice guarantees upcoming days will grow longer with each sunrise...until it doesn't.  (History proves me right)

Tailgate party knowledge sharing:  Fish burp.  Reputedly discovered by an unemployed shopping cart retriever in Keokuk

Final "Jeopardy" answer:  Continental Kit is not a European DIY line item

There's no documented proof of a human getting inebriated while consuming large quantities of rye bread

Who named these?  Canning jars, Pocket books, Hamburgers, Chicken fingers, amongst others I can't remember at the moment

A measuring tape has absolutely zero adhesive properties

Cleveland police recovered Guardians manager Terry Francona’s beloved two-wheeled ride on Tuesday night after it was swiped from outside his downtown apartment this past weekend. A team spokesman said police located the scooter and arrangements were being made for Francona to pick it up Wednesday. The scooter was being stored with the Cleveland Police traffic unit motorcycles. Earlier, police spokeswoman Sgt. Jennifer Ciaccia said detectives were checking surveillance video in the area. Francona, who was named AL Manager of the Year last season, has been riding a scooter from his residence to Progressive Field for years. The 63-year-old Francona, who spends the offseason in Arizona, was in Cleveland over the weekend for Guards Fest, the team’s annual winter fan festival. He noticed his scooter was missing before attending Saturday’s event. It’s common to see Francona, known as “Tito,” waving to fans as he zips around the city. The team had a bobblehead giveaway a few years ago with Francona riding his scooter. This isn’t the first time a Francona scooter has made news. At spring training in 2015, his ride was damaged when a team employee crashed it during a promotional shoot in Arizona. At the time, Francona joked that his scooter was on the disabled list. Associated Press

Odd Infinitum: Zombies are the result of a bacon famine during the dark ages.  They DO look hungry, eh?

10 Great Days at Cleveland Ohio's V,A, Hospital

Bob's Backbone Roto-Rooter, So to Speak

Where it began...I can't begin to knowin', I filled it  up with only me

                                                AKA

Not long ago, in a galaxy, not related to a 1960s model Ford Motor Company sedan

                                              Time frame

Certain ethnic star date, 100621.33

                                             Causation/diagnosis

Evolutionary erosional impaction and other anatomical, spinal stuff

                                             Location

All encompassing sterile, white atmosphere, inhabited by both droids and spinal AVM specialists

                                            Parts estimate

Many intricate movements, trays of sharp instruments, all shiny and bright-absolutely no plastic, remedial scissors

                                           Labor cost

What price glory, at the minds and hands of those who administer

                                          Prognosis

Very promising-comprised of balanced physical/medical regimen, monitored by really smart, medical professionals

                                                      *****In lay terms*****

The "olde" bod was experiencing limb discomfort.  Scans revealed an irregularity at 3-4-5, in the spine's lower neck region.  In the wee hours of 9 January, a team of crack specialists joined forces to attack, repel and repair the invaders, after a "mere" and approximate 5 hour assault.  In the words of Martha, "It's a good thing!"

Your end of 2022 non-pecuniary (Cash) bonus

 Not foreseen pandemic relief: Online shopping keeps us from big-box store serenades of mega high-pitch screams from children while seemingly deaf, oblivious, millennial parents aimlessly wander the aisles.

Fast food eateries aid agriculture surplus: The reason you're seeing pickles on chicken and fish sandwiches

Does anyone use that 1- prefix for 10 digit phone numbers anymore?  I know I haven't since forever, yet I continue seeing it in print and just a moment ago, in a TV commercial

Football sideline anti-intelligencia:  Supposed college graduated NFL color commentators who unimpress us with words that absolutely have no application, most butchered being, "matriculate."  Hank Stram was the 1st in a previous century.  I heard it again in a recent game.  I'm thinking, while some ladies were bra burning, the football "dudes" were ducking English and composition classes.  YO---matriculating down the sideline makes as much sense as Pavarotti in a grunge band!  While we're at it, I tend to agree with whomever suggested color commentators are paid by the word.

I get why African-Americans crusaded for upper case B in their being referenced as, "Black."  In deference to said reference, I couldn't help but notice teevee ads promoting African-American programs, "Available only on the 'all-black' channel."

Let's call this, "Records are meant to be tied."  Setting and tying all-time Home Runs achieved---all occurred in that particular season's final game!  Kinda sorta akin to David Justice's coming 61 years after Roger Maris hit 61 homers in 1961.  Information as yet inconclusive regarding how many fans in attendance celebrated birthday number 61 that day.  For the uber-curious, high temperature that day was shy, at 55 degrees.  For the uber-uber curious, number 62 was hit in the 10th inning...SO...should there be an asterisk included?  For those who couldn't give a pinto pony's patoot, Mr. Justice served it up on 10-4, the date I officially proclaimed, many fortnights ago as, "National C-B Day," honoring all over-the-road truck drivers.  (Not yet on any calendar.)  Grannie Gert will most likely mention these quips in her daily blog, "When Fact Becomes, 'HUH!'"

Heard in at least 3 "Piggly-Wiggly" grocery store checkout lines: Current Catholic Pope, Francis, in an upcoming encyclical, will suggest world governments permanently add a confessional to their assembly and voting venues.

My California cousin sent an article, stating some local organizations will pick up your Christmas tree, then use it for various green programs, such as, underwater fish dens or wild-life havens.  Just a thought: If your property has animal visitors, you can do as I and place the tree "out back," where they'll become critter snacks.  Be judicious by removing ALL decorations.  Raccoons, bunnies, etc. are able to discern and will toss aside ornaments, but antlered 4-leggers might be too hungry, devouring everything in sight.  Worldwide, veterinarians are seeing an increase of seasonal deer-verticulitis.

May we all see 

More honesty

In '23

CHRISTMAS, 1st CORINTHIANS 13 STYLE

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

 

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies,

preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at

mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

 

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all

that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

 

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

 

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but

rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures

all things.

Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust. But giving the gift of love will endure.

copyright rcmj 5-12-2003