Play Ball!!!

 Originally written in 2012

Everyone should experience the thrill of opening day at the baseball park. As is Easter, baseball is a harbinger of spring and all the new that comes with it.
I grew up a Cleveland Indians fan-atic. I never got to see Babe Ruth play, but I DID get to see so many of the good and plenty of the bad. Bill Veeck, as in Wreck, was the owner of my team. There wasn't a ton of money in his pockets back then, but Bill did so much to bring folks to the park. I remember promotions such as free nylons for the ladies, free admission if you were bald, etc.
It was a fun time to be a fan, even if the team weren't among the best. Cleveland Municipal Stadium had the visiting team entrance/exit that opened right at the parking lot. If you waited, you got to see the teams exit for the buses after they showered and changed into civilian clothes. Many a time, I was there, hanging on the rail and watching as the likes of DiMaggio, Mantle and oh so many greats and wannabes came out, rubbed our heads and said cool things, like, "Hiya kid!" A thrill and a half! We never thought of an autograph.
Back then, I had an afternoon paper route. No one had central air conditioning, Open windows provided cross-ventilation. Most everyone's radio was tuned into the game, and, as I delivered the Cleveland Press to all the front porches, I hardly missed any action. "Back in the day," if you showed ownership of a ticket, your school allowed you to leave early for opening day. Now, THAT was exciting!
Baseball probably catalogs more records than any other sport and as the game progresses, the announcers will impart those that were set or broken on opening day. I wish I could remember all of them, but, as time rolled along, other things took precedence and the memories are just that. Not so many years ago, I took a date to what I recall was her first game. The day was absolutely the worst and would have been bad for even a football game! The wind was brutal, some flakes of snow fell and the wind chill was 13 degrees. Momma Mia! With my frostbite, courtesy of travels via Uncle Sam, I mentioned that there was no way I could sit through nine innings of cold hell. My date's exact words were, "Could we at least stay until they get a point?" (THERE ARE NO POINTS IN BASEBALL!) Having brain freeze, I acquiesced, went into extreme prayer mode, a "point" was quickly scored and we got the hell out of there! Management so loved us that they gave all ticket holders of that weather fiasco a freebie for a game in July!
Yes, Virginia, the game HAS changed...$7 beers, high salaries, betting, drugs and Lord knows what else. BUT, none of that exists...on opening day!

Day of the Curmedgeon

 Wondering why I've not gotten any new pages from Andy Borowitz, satirist extraordinaire, my research found that The New Yorker magazine gave him 'The Boot.'  Is that some new kind of award or does it merely follow the first 4 letters of the publication's description?

Being today as Thomas Edison's 177th birthday, perhaps the zine should close early and go screw a light bulb!

We hope to see you soon, Andy!  My money says your audience would LOVE your deliveries to fill the seat of the dearly loved, departed OTHER Andy, that being Mr. Rooney. Are you listening, CBS?  

Spotted in a local paper's daily question is: Who will win the Super Bowl: KC? SF? Usher? Taylor Swift?  A former  wannabe president offered his own conspiracy that it's a ploy conjured to push Biden for an encore.  Nothing better to do, Mr. Sliceasalami?  

A respondent replied to the newspaper's question: Neither of the 'TT' has openly said a political word, yet, the narrow-minded butt cheeked pundits have the audacious need to tell you what to think. However, since this is a 'bowl' game, my vote goes to Honey Nut Cheerios!

I've read columns by national writers on what they call, 'Tralors.'  Talk about opinion-mongers!  Yes, there's a couple, dating and rich. He gets banged for catching a thing made from a sacrificial oinker and she's a cute blond who was born with a marketing mind, for which writers tear her to pieces. Methinks jealousy.  They actually offer to know exactly the inner workings of the couple's brains.  I have no problem with columnists' right to write, but wonder what was in the green blend they drank before turning their keyboard into a bonfire!

Seems Wally-not-so-smart is re-instating rubber belts and humans at the checkouts. SOMEBODY called attention to lost sales due to dishonesty by not pricing all that went into the bags.  Did no one anticipate this?  Where the heck were all the MBAs?  If they were even at a management meeting, you'd think this to be a major concern or was self checkout merely a way to decrease workers and increase profits?

Speaking of supermarkets, do you miss the 3' X 3' bulletin boards filled with 3" X 5" cards, advertising community sale items and services?  

Pssst! (Local buying saves tax dollars that your incompetent lawmakers can't use for personal enjoyment!)

What I saw when I wasn't looking: Have you noticed in a Budweiser commercial, how a team of horses and 1 dog overcome a problem without speaking? 

Time to disconnect the doorbell and phone so I can hopefully enjoy an exciting super bowl game!

Nothing beats a smile and hug and there are no classes or diplomas teaching how easy it is to be nice!

Total Surprise Christmas Gifts from a Seekritt Santa!!!

 While getting ready to undecorate the Christmas tree, I noticed several unopened boxes at the far end of the tree blanket, all with my name on each.  Hmmm

In the 1st box was a fisherman's, "Do-It-Yourself" set of nightcrawler bobble-head dolls

For the wannabee musician in me:  OMG!  A brand spankin' new, re-pro, Funky Winkerbean Air Guitar!

I'm not certain if the photos will download for you.  They might be protected

Yesterday was a never to be repeated 1 2 3 1 2 3

Today is the 1th of the month of the 24th

If you're Jewish, you can't mistakenly enter the wrong year on your checks until October 2

If you're Aztec, refer to your pocket Xiuhpohualli.  If you lost yours, see below

In any event, may your days be merry and bright and may all your Budweisers be Lite

Xiuhpohualli

Aztec Calendar: Today in the Aztec and Maya Calendar AztecCalendar.com provides a reading of the significance of any given day and presents the relevant gods or prot...

Elementary, My Dear Planet

Response to a Brunswick Post, Letter To The Editor 

 Mr. Rand Lennox's 12-29-23 letter, 'The Common Good,' wherein he emphasized all 10 Commandments fitting on a business card to the multitude of books explaining them, re-booted a memory from long ago. 

 Reflecting on math class at the long since closed, St. Hyacinth School, 'fractions' taught us the importance of determining the lowest common denominator on the way to a solution. 

 Fast forward more than a few decades. While pondering the ruination of such a beautiful planet, caused mainly by greed and the dismissal of decency and laws, I hurriedly typed, in jest, 'If I ruled the world, I'd proclaim The 10 Commandments to result in a common denominator of: Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.' Allow your minds to dwell on each of the 10 and you'll hopefully see the commonality! 

 Fast forward a few more decades where we are today. My mind hasn't changed any, except for that 'rule the world' thought. So, do we make ours a better world or do we continue the path of greed, leading to our prolonged or instant annihilation? 

 Seems elementary to me.

In time, history will forget

 As a prelude, 5 years ago, I divorced/did the cold turkey thing, from broadcast news. In short time, the tension of it all eased its way out of this old bod. I do read the local newspaper because it carries my need for crossword puzzles and a pretty good cornucopia of chuckle inducing comics!

I don't do social networking because the world does not need to know that Eddie, my pet tsetse fly, dances to Chubby Checker songs. Texting alone has antiquated eye contact and all emotion. I have morbidly obese fingertips that simultaneously activated six letters each time I made an attempt. My smart --s phone has audio texting but I don't like that for the same emotionless reasons.

Now, let's go forward to the past.  Long, long ago, on an island far, far away, inhabitants were awakened as others were startled when the sky darkened as Japanese aircraft pummeled the ships and bombarded the buildings and people at Pearl Harbor. Total Americans killed and wounded was 3581. From that day until WW2 ended, 407,316 military personnel gave their lives and another 671,278 were wounded. Unknown are those who suffered what was then called, "Shell Shock," new name being, "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." Probably not charted are families having to live with loss, injured and Missing In Action.   From all that and the indescribably 'balls to the walls" attitude of our nation, Tom Brokaw wrote the book, "The Greatest Generation," which should be mandatory reading and discussing for all!

Post Eisenhower's Presidency, there was a time of growth and folks helping each other. Factories emerged, jobs were plenty, houses were affordable and all was good, for most. When the children of "The Greatest Generation" began families of their own marked a time of booming technology, higher education and increasing pay checks. From that, we evolved into entitlements, welfare, partying, drug addiction, bribery, swindles, bankruptcies, video games that show killing without remorse, politicians who promise much, while delivering little and other shortcomings.

Marketing expresses methods for the future of most everything, utilizing history, present behavior and tendencies. Beginning in the 1920s, there was an Austrian, whose name was, Adolf Schickelgruber, who wrote a book about what he perceived as world problems and how to solve them.  If you weren't aware, he changed his sur name to Hitler.  Bingo!  You know what he became, what he did and worst of all, the sheer number of murders committed during his reign.  He did that because he studied current moods and nurtured followers into thinking they too could solve problems while reaping rewards. He also assembled allies in Japan and Italy. Greed eventually led all 3 to their demise.  All the death, destruction and mental anguish for the desire of just one person!

Being that history can repeat, I implore one and all to look around, see what others are doing and thinking.  With an open mind, let it sink in and ask yourself if you truly see a similar evolution.  If you can't or won't, please take time to read, "Mein Kampf" and "The Greatest Generation."  Whether you do or not, ask that person in the mirror if he/she/they really wish to become part of the above numbers.

Neither of the 2 newspapers I read printed a single word regarding what propelled our country into what became World War 2. I spent 4 years with "Uncle Sam" and am damn proud of it! Today, I pray for and salute all those who did the same.  Very sad that I didn't see mention of Pearl Harbor. Hell, what's a mere 82 years!

Remember Bunker Hill-Remember Gettysburg-Remember The Alamo-Remember Pearl Harbor-Remember Pyong Yang-Remember Hanoi Hilton!  Will your children one day say, "Remember America?"

How large is the tool that 'wrenches' my soul?

 Thoughts entering my mind even prior to Folgers caffeine minimum daily requirement:

Long beards and overflowing hair atop the shoulders of many politicians does not a genius make. Conversely, it is testament of one's membership in the 'lemmingslature.' Then, again, it might mean a resurgence of Smith Brothers Cough Drops. In a 'recent' survey, Washington, D.C. Uber drivers have hidden video recorders proving covered follicles cannot prevent loss of brain cells. Each time I witness vain attempts at policy improvements, aka, 'open mic' at a comedy club, the old song comes to mind, that being, 'Shave and a haircut, 2 bits.'

Actually, their intent might be, 'If we all have similar looks, we can avoid bring accosted in public. Then, again, won't that cause physical abuse upon innocent people?  In MY state, the 'repre-hensitives' in 'leadersh-t' have waved their longest finger at us by ignoring election passed, gerrymandering bordered, expensive election; removal of all gun registration, safety instruction and firing range protocol; disputing the recent abortion issue; taking over of the education department and played taxpaying utility consumers to an unholy hell with but a slap on the wrist to the thugs who perpetrated electric supplier fraud, with many players never having to appear in court!   

Most perplexing is, some collaborators instilling these 'resolutions' have yet to be awarded the seemingly required full beards and ruffled hair! (Gubernatorial first ladies exempted) Stay tuned for more head-shaking drama, coming soon to us all!!! Rumor mill suggests it will become a reality TV show, tentative name being, "Belief or BS." Leaked Paparazzi tapes show a bloody purse fight between wanna-be producers, Ron DiSantis, Judge Judy, Nikki Haley, Vanna White and Chris Christie. PeeWee Herman declined, fearing bad fan response.

What we need, and soon, is another Dr. Salk, to cure the politico-polio infestation that has adopted strict party alliance, crippled common sense, intelligent reasoning in most, whose thoughts are geared toward re-election and self enrichment/empowerment, combined with memory loss of campaign promises.

If any law is to be passed, it should copy NASCAR, mandating sponsorial embroidered patches on attire worn by politicians. Can you just see a 'Foreclosure' sign on a state capitol front lawn? Or maybe, a Zillow promo on the back of a governor's suit jacket? Or maybe, "Dark Money Laundromat" shoulder patches.

It's time to remove all the "Vote for Me" lawn signs. Folks mistake them for "Garage Sale" invites, thereby causing driveway oil stains from that somehow still moving 1985 Yugo.

Coming up in, 'What's next?'  Kale flavored Holy Communion wafers?

Do you see what I see?

 "Street Talk" is my local Post newspaper's section with a daily question, mostly regarding current events. Originally, answers had a 90 character maximum, requiring much thought and rework to intelligently present a stance. Respondents are encouraged and are now given 250 characters to express a vote of provided selections or their own. Amongst are thought-provoking, humorous, condescending, awakening, etc. Near as I can tell, all are published, 7 days per week! Though I don't keep track, I estimate an average of 40 plus Post readers take time to contribute and, most days, even more!  Currently, I see many new faces and names. Fantastic! I don't agree with all contributors, but they provide insights I might not have previously considered. Coffee cup in hand, my reactions vary from, insightful, hilarious, the current vernacular's, 'WTF,' to a good, old fashioned, "Meh!"  

You can read a book or column, written by one person, who offers his/her opinion and those who combine opinion with research and proven facts.  My newspaper shows me what the 'by, of and for' really feel, which is why I implore everyone to read, study, learn and THEN make a decision.  Listening to only one is counterproductive. My home delivered newspaper sits on the table, a ready reference, should I need clarification or further thought. So-called 'smart' phones quickly push current events into the past, caused by our addiction to see what excitement the latest 'beep' contains.  My newspapers cover many categories under 'Headline' or section, whereas an iphone/ipad/idunno, etc., requires a separate app for each subject, be it, news, stock market, sports, weather, et al.

Ohio's largest(?) newspaper has transitioned from daily home-delivery, to only 4 days...so far, due to financial hurdles. It provides no daily question. The only reader commentary is derived from, "Letters to the Editor," subject to being reworked and/or shortened, that might appear in less than the aforementioned 4 day delivery.  Very seldom have I seen more than 3 LTEs.  That is NOT considered enviable audience participation!  Might paragraph #1 above be cause for emulation?  

A newspaper provides information from the minds of many, allowing us to make intelligent choices. It's what you can expect in a democracy/republic. When that's gone, your freedoms are close behind.  The lyrics of, 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone' carries a lot of weight!

Subscribe to a local or national newspaper.  The weekly cost is near what you spend for just one cup of a fancy logo coffee shop's mocha latte mint single swirl half mountain lite, that gramma called a percolated 'Cuppa Joe.'

Finally, you'll provide jobs for many who do their best to keep you 'in the know.'  So, do you see what I see?