House and Senate announce improprieties...Collectively resign

Donald Trump discovers Garden of Eden...Re-names it "Trump THIS!"

Stalemate reached as cheney and lucifer finally meet

Don King finally teaches his hair to relax

Obama kids transfer to PS 13 in Hell's Kitchen

New Pope lists Vatican properties and art on ebay

Walmart buys Washington D.C...Retrains lobbyists into shopping cart retrievers

IRS admits using faulty calculators...Mass resignations...Building boarded up

NYPD sent to middle east.....Peace accord reached in 17 hours

Yankee stadium 12 ounce beer reduced to $27.50

New clothing line introduces pants that explode when worn below the waist

NFL goes on strike...Demanding minimum wage

Picketers at TV network headquarters, shouting, "Less reality---More Education!"

Peace reigns when military is forced to buy their own clothes and weapons

Hidden camera shows Area 51 as design/test facility for new roller coasters

Government cancels all press conferences, stating that permanent denials will save time

Producer admits nothing of consequence ever discussed since View panel all talk at once

Maharaji Mahesh Yogi reveals true name as, Ed LaRue

Years of frustration cause Quebec to finally pack everything and move province to Schenectady

MENSA accuses Bill Gates of being, "This short of a know-it-all"

Crash test dummies apply for disability...Workers' Comp refuses to comment

New study will test elected officials for..............everything

Google Earth shows large Slurpee truck in Bloomberg's back yard

Films at 11