Friday, March 21, 2008

Questionable Querriculum

(Penned in 1979...re-discovered and updated today)

Certain Ethnic Community College
Adult Education---Fall Semester
Registration Deadline---Real Soon


SELF IMPROVEMENT
SI500 CREATIVE SUFFERING
SI501 OVERCOMING PEACE OF MIND
SI502 YOU AND YOUR BIRTHMARKS
SI503 GUILT WITHOUT PARANOIA
SI504 THE PRIMAL SHRUG
SI505 EGO GRATIFICATION THROUGH CONDESCENSION
SI506 MOULDING YOUR CHILD THROUGH GUILT AND FEAR
SI507 DEALING WITH POST REALIZATION DEPRESSION
SI508 WHINE YOUR WAY TO ALIENATION
SI509 HOW TO OVERCOME SELF-DOUBT THROUGH PRETENSE AND OSTENTATION

BUSINESS AND CAREER
BC101 HOW TO AMASS $100 IN REAL ESTATE
BC102 MONEY CAN MAKE YOU RICH
BC103 MARKETING AND SELLING YOUR IN-LAWS
BC104 CARAVAN CAREERS
BC105 FRANCHISE THAT INFORMATION BOOTH
BC106 THE UNDERACHIEVER’S GUIDE TO VERY SMALL BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES
BC107 TAX SHELTERS FOR THE INDIGENT
BC108 MORTGAGE REDUCTION WITHOUT CARBS
BC109 NIGHT SCHOOL RIP-OFFS (MORNING CLASS ONLY)

ARTS AND CRAFTS
AC302 RECYCLING SPIDER WEBS
AC303 SELF-ACTUALIZATION THROUGH MACRAME
AC304 NEEDLECRAFT FOR JUNKIES
AC305 CUTICLE ORIGAMI
AC306 GIFTS FOR THE IRS AGENT
AC307 BONSAI YOUR PET
AC308 HOW TO DRAW STICK FIGURES

OF SPECIAL INTEREST
BS101 OVERTHROW ANY GOVERNMENT IN LESS THAN A DECADE
BS102 WATERBED AQUARIUMS
BS103 STARTING A SILO COLLECTION
BS104 GARGLE IN ANY LANGUAGE OVERNIGHT
BS105 EXPLAINING DENTS
BS106 WHALE REPAIR
BS107 DOOR TO DOOR DENTURE SALES

HEALTH AND FITNESS
HF201 BEARD WATCHING
HF202 CREATIVE TOOTH DECAY
HF203 EXORCISM AND ITS EFFECT ON ACNE
HF204 THE JOYS OF HYPOCHONDRIA
HF205 SUICIDE AND YOUR LONGEVITY
HF206 HIGH FIBER YIN & YANG
HF207 BIOFEEDBACK AND HOW TO STOP
HF208 SKATEBOARDING TO REGULARITY
HF209 UNDERSTANDING A CLAVICLE
HF210 TAP DANCE YOUR WAY TO RIDICULE
HF211 OPTIONAL BODY FUNCTIONS
HF212 DRESSING RIGHT/ DRESSING LEFT AND HOW IT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
HF213 THE BRAILLE SYSTEM OF ANATOMY
HF214 WATER SKI HOPSKOTCH

HOME BUDGETING
EC402 RETURN STOLEN GOODS FOR PROFIT
EC403 TURN THAT FLY SWATTER INTO A FULLY AUTOMATIC RIFLE
EC404 HOW TO CONVERT YOUR FAMILY ROOM INTO A GARAGE
EC405 BURGLARPROOF YOUR HOME WITH CEMENT
EC406 FUNDAMENTAL KITCHEN TAXIDERMY
EC407 SINUS DRAINAGE AT HOME
EC408 1001 USES FOR THE KIRBY VACUUM
EC409 REPAIR AND MAINTENANCE OF YOUR VIRGINITY
EC410 CONVERT A WHEELCHAIR INTO A DUNE BUGGY
EC411 CHRISTIANITY AND R.V. MAINTENANCE
EC412 IMPROVE PROFITS WITH YOUR CONVERSATION PIT

GENERAL
GB101 RIOT ETIQUETTE
GB102 SCHOOL GUARD FOLKLORE
GB103 WIND CHIME SING-A-LONGS
GB104 KNOW YOUR FLASHLIGHT
GB105 LOOKING OCCUPIED AND INTERESTED AT A SHOPPING MALL
GB106 DRYER LINT QUILTS
GB107 MICROWAVE MYSTERIES AND TERROR
GB108 AVOID COMPACT DISC ALLERGIES
GB109 SELECTING ANCESTORS
GB110 DISCREET KNUCKLE CRACKING
GB111 MEMORIZING MIDDLE NAMES
GB112 INTRODUCTORY HIJACK HUMOR
GB113 KILLER BEE COOKING FOR FUN
GB114 REMEDIAL COUPON CLIPPING

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