Happy Bellies in San Francisco---Mangia!!!

The following was originally written on 6-4-08, but I'm certain there are more people who'd like to learn about what's happening in San francisco..........so, have at it and please enjoy it as much as I do!!!

Happy Bellies in San Francisco---Mangia!!!

She's becoming famouser and famouser! Who might that lady be? I'll get to her in a moment...but FIRST...provenance! 

A fraction of an eon ago, an Italian son joined forces with a Polish son in one of the least documented and hardly remembered 4 year stretch in the annals of the United States Air Force. Ask anyone! When they deny any knowledge of the aforementioned dos amigos, they'll indeed be forthrightly forthwith, forsooth, forsaking forty fortnights. Carmen and Bob were the only proponents...upon landing in Viet Nam...of having a silent auction for what appeared to be the world's largest greenhouse at that time. History clearly shows how no one listened to their sound reasoning. (Fast Forward)

Following their amazingly honorable discharges, Carmen and Bob went their separate ways. (This more than likely spared the Bay Area!) (Fast Forward)

In between the woefully too few reunions, they both, somehow, convinced respective ladies to enter into wedlock and bear a few bare butt babies. (REELEE Fast Forward!!!)

I won't recommend anyone or anything unless and until I am comfortable and know I'm dealing with honesty.

Okay...here's the "Who might that lady be?" part. If your plans, or even dreams, include a stay in San Francisco or any part of the Bay Area, you absolutely MUST become well acquainted with...(Drum Roll, please)... 
http://www.tablehopper.com/

The publication was conceived and continues to be written by my long-distance best friend, Carmen's daughter, Marcia Gagliardi. Her first name, according to her parents and her, is pronounced the same as, "Garcia" but I like to say, "Mar---SEE---Yuh." Using today's vernacular, wuddever! In short stead, Marcia will totally enchant you with honest critiques, descriptions and all other inclusives, along with names that would make the best red carpet hostesses drool with envy, Dah-ling! Her style is refreshingly easy to understand and there's just enough humor sprinkled in that causes you to wish being there with her! I do believe that, when you access the web site ofhttp://www.tablehopper.com/, you should print it, then close your eyes while someone reads the vignettes to you...how romantic! Happy travels!!!

(Photo is from the Caymans...no creatures were harmed.)

Hoopdee "Dupe" and other observances

From today's paper:  "The Energy Department says U.S. households spent an average of $2,912.00 on gasoline, or almost 4 percent of their pretax income, the highest percentage in 30 years."  ON WHAT PLANET?!?  Using the Energy Department's 4%, that $2912 translates to a pretax income of $72,800.  There are no absolute income numbers published that I could find for 2012.  The most current I located was for 2006, which listed approximately 68 million households had less than $58,000 for pretax income.  I'm going to let some other financial whiz extrapolate for current year percentages.  In essence, many households are below $72,000 annual income, thereby increasing the gasoline outlay above 4%.  Proof again that numbers can be made to say whatever the accountants wish them to say. Car commercials 1:  Subaru shows a mom who's very proud of her safety conscious son.  While son is driving with a friend, son is not lured into doing stupid stuff.  Preparing to turn into the driveway, the camera shows a dry, sunny street.  The camera in the yard shows everything as being wet.  Son exits the car and the scene is once again sunny.  (I don't do drugs). Car commercials 2:  The northeast Ohio Ford commercial shows many vehicles with a distorted Ohio license plate, but, wearing my Polish CSI cap, I determined the plate to read, 6NX 9704.  Question?  Why distort the number and why is the same plate on different vehicles, while other cars and truck have no plate at all? TeePee commercial:  When are we going to see the blue bears actually USING the toilet paper?!? GACK-OH:  What the #!+*! is up with the lizard and now a pig selling insurance?!? My favorite TV ad disclaimer at the screen's bottom on a Progressive Insurance ad..."Prices vary based on how you buy."  REELEE? Separated at birth:  Atlanta Falcons coach Mike Smith and comic Steve Martin Who exchanged the very 1st email?  Who was YOUR first? Off to the next mystery: seeking the forest where man and wife sit in dual bath tubs...

Hey Buddy, "Kudzu Paradigm?"

An idle coal truck on Upper Second Creek Road, just outside of Hazard, Kentucky

Covered in Kudzu.  Paradigm Shift = Work truck but No work for truck

Black Friday is history.  Many stores continue their sales in hopes of a successful year.  I'm now treating that hectic shopping fiasco as I do New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day...I stay home.

I just double-checked the local newspaper from the past few days.  Thursday, in addition to the stuff till you puff day of Thanksgiving, was anniversary No. 49 of JFK's assassination.  No mention of it.  Perhaps "they" forgot/moved on/stopped caring.

In any event, you may now spin the old radio dial and officially start your holiday spirit by listening to the repeated playing of the same 20-some songs until you consider a self-inflicted round of water boarding.  2 years back, I contacted the local FM's Program Manager about there being many more tunes available.  His response is permanently filed under, "Canned answers containing zero sense"

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Near Lake Erie, the temperature is a "torrid 31", with a slight breeze and a bit of snow flurries.  Somewhere, people are setting up the Christmas tree while, "It's a Wonderful Life" spins in the CD player; Moms are teaching daughters the art of cookie baking; Dads are joining sons with hopes of watching their favorite college football team win a berth in a holiday bowl game. I wonder if anyone still strings pop corn.  Somewhere else, there are battles being fought in foreign lands while others are trying to rebuild after losing homes and loved ones during the tragic storm called, "Sandy."

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For some unexplained reason, I spot and hear oddities or coincidences that I am compelled to share.  Whether the "excitement" is shared or not depends upon reader mood.  I know SOMEbody reads them, because there are those willing to recommend something to do with couches.

Moving on...while watching a college football game, I noticed that Dustin Fox, current ABC commentator and former Ohio State defensive back, bears a resemblance to Joey Tribiani, from "Friends."  At any moment, I expected Dustin to utter the famous, "How YOU doin?"  Another birth separation is baseball announcer Ken Rosenthal and Pee Wee Herman...not to be outdone by the pairing of San Francisco Giant right fielder, Hunter Pence and comedian, Chris Elliott.

I'm drawn to reading the mini disclaimers at the bottom of teevee commercials.  Progressive Insurance displays a "no kidding" by telling us that, "Prices vary based on how you buy."  Okaaaay.  Not to be outdone, Ford shows a vehicle soaring off a cliff as the disclaimer informs us, "Professional driver, closed course, do not attempt, cars can't fly."  THANK YOU!!!  (WAY too many lawyers these days)

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What you don't see anymore: Burma Shave signs; Sign that cautions, "Quiet-Hospital Zone."  Remember when people would stick their tongue out when they disagreed with you?

Once A Leg Man..............

Once a "leg" man.....



I try to stay away from political commentary because it negates the chuckles I read in the daily comic section of my newspaper, but, some are SO "ignernt" that you have to stop and wonder.


WHUTT?!? 1.  Our local, (loco?), lawmakers just enacted the Teen Text Law.  I guess they figure texting drivers older than 18 don't get bigger boo-boos. Has anyone contacted the wacko gecko actuaries?
WHUTT?!? 2.  The since deposed Cuyahoga County sheriff was convicted for using election money to bolster his campaign via using his deputies. In short, he "retired" and there followed some of that good ole boy taking care of another and he then used campaign funds to pay the fine. A judge simply blew it off with words to the effect, "These things happen" and that was the end of that!  As an untrained CPA, I'd venture to say he'd have to claim that money as income, dontcha think.........IRS?
WHUTT? 3.  Last week marked the opening of a gambling casino in Cleveland. In an effort to empty wallets without delay, an extension to East 9th Street is being constructed. In the meantime, 2 local hospitals were closed, thereby increasing response times for EMS personnel.

Didja Know? Dept: While visiting some of my favorite Kentucky people earlier this month, I was told that some schools no longer teach cursive writing. AUGH!


As parents, we can oh so easily upset the kids with "put the foot down" directives. My 2 sons, not the old teevee show, grew to be close to self-inflicting eclipse makers. Well, not THAT huge, but big enough to scare some wash machines. When they asked to play football, I absolutely refused, reason being that the human body was not designed to run into each other, at a high rate of speed, from opposite directions. I suggested meteorology broadcasting, as they tend to earn a lot while being wrong more often than Homer Simpson. A recent news item is telling us that Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy is more pronounced than anyone had envisioned. In short, concussions are to be taken seriously, as shown in studies conducted on brains of former football stars. In fact, the possibilities exist in virtually ALL sports having body contact. (You're welcome, M & M)


Can't recall if I mentioned this in an earlier missive, but, since we're being schooled to sneeze or cough into our elbows, don't we then pass the germs when we put that same arm around our companion at the local cineplex?


Have you seen that commercial where a speed dater is caught for saying, "until I met you?" Closely watch the girl. Right after he hears that, her lower back snaps as if someone zapped her with a cattle prod.....Jussayin


Separated at birth 1: Los Angeles Angels pitcher, Irvin Santana and Detroit Tigers shortstop, Jhonny Peralta
Separated at birth 2: Most political candidates and nobody smart


Just for kicks: When you quickly move your index finger in an up-and-down motion on your lips as you hum, you'll hear a staccato sound. Go ahead...try it! Got it? Good! The sound you heard explains why your butt crack isn't horizontal when you scoot down the sliding board!


Given a choice, what music do you suppose a dog would choose?


If it totally passed you by, this month, Friday the 13th was on a Sunday.


Drum Roll Super News Dept: Son of a great lady I know just graduated from med school...a feat unto itself. I think he opted for pediatrics. May he someday soon find a cure for an illness or two.

PLAY BALL!!!

Everyone should experience the thrill of opening day at the baseball park. As is Easter, baseball is a harbinger of spring and all the new that comes with it.
I grew up a Cleveland Indians fan-atic. I never got to see Babe Ruth play, but I DID get to see so many of the good and plenty of the bad. Bill Veeck, as in Wreck, was the owner of my team. There wasn't a ton of money in his pockets back then, but Bill did so much to bring folks to the park. I remember promotions such as free nylons for the ladies, free admission if you were bald, etc.
It was a fun time to be a fan, even if the team weren't among the best. Cleveland Municipal Stadium had the visiting team entrance/exit that opened right at the parking lot. If you waited, you got to see the teams exit for the buses after they showered and changed into civilian clothes. Many a time, I was there, hanging on the rail and watching as the likes of DiMaggio, Mantle and oh so many greats and wannabes came out, rubbed our heads and said cool things, like, "Hiya kid!" A thrill and a half! We never thought of an autograph.
Back then, I had an afternoon paper route. No one had central air conditioning, Open windows provided cross-ventilation. Most everyone's radio was tuned into the game, and, as I delivered the Cleveland Press to all the front porches, I hardly missed any action. "Back in the day," if you showed ownership of a ticket, your school allowed you to leave early for opening day. Now, THAT was exciting!
Baseball probably catalogs more records than any other sport and as the game progresses, the announcers will impart those that were set or broken on opening day. I wish I could remember all of them, but, as time rolled along, other things took precedence and the memories are just that. And, dontcha know, on opening day, 2012, the following new record came into being: Text is borrowed from the web site of 93.1 FM, WZAK, Cleveland's R & B Leader..."CLEVELAND – J.P. Arencibia’s three-run homer in the 16th inning sent the Toronto Blue Jays to a 7-4 win over the Cleveland Indians on Thursday in the longest opening-day game in major league history.

Arencibia was 0 for 6 with three strikeouts before connecting off Jairo Asencio.
The marathon eclipsed the previous longest openers — 15 innings between Cleveland and Detroit in 1960 and 15 innings between Philadelphia and Washington in 1926.
Luis Perez, Toronto’s seventh pitcher, pitched four scoreless innings for the win and Sergio Santos got two outs to end the 5-hour, 14-minute game.
Jose Bautista homered and hit a sacrifice fly for Toronto, which rallied for three runs in the ninth off All-Star closer Chris Perez to force extra innings."

Not so many years ago, I took a date to what I recall was her first game. The day was absolutely the worst and would have been bad for even a football game! The wind was brutal, some flakes of snow fell and the wind chill was 13 degrees. Momma Mia! With my frostbite, courtesy of travels via Uncle Sam, I mentioned that there was no way I could sit through nine innings of cold hell. My date's exact words were, "Could we at least stay until they get a point?" (THERE ARE NO POINTS IN BASEBALL!) Having brain freeze, I acquiesced, went into extreme prayer mode, a "point" was quickly scored and we got the hell out of there! Management so loved us that they gave all ticket holders of that weather fiasco a freebie for a game in July!
Yes, Virginia, the game HAS changed...$7 beers, high salaries, betting, drugs and Lord knows what else. BUT, none of that exists...on opening day!