Merry Christmas, World!

Lotts Creek Community School: Alice Slone's 1st Classroom (Circa 1930), in the Appalachian Mountains, just outside of Hazard, Kentucky

NIGHT BEFORE CRISSMUSS IN WARSAW

Vos da nite before Crissmuss in my Polish howse.  I sneke downda stairs, yoost quiet like a mowse.

Da whole rest of famlee in bed all asleep, while visions of nut rolls trew heads of dem creep.

Wurk sox Mama hung by chimley with care, in hopes dat St. Stosh soon vill be dair.

While over in korner is silly to see, dumplings and kielbassa hang frum da tree.

Denn comes diss big bang making howse start ta shudder, an sum nut lands onna roof an breaks da rain gutter.

He wiggle downa chimley and swears cuz its tight.  I hides behind 12 packs way outta site.

He lands inna fireplace, skorching white hair, on bustid up bowling pin still burning dair.

He climbs out an I peaks to get good look.  Yoost like pichers in mine histree book.

He gots vodka glazed eyes an stummick like bubble, with 5 days old beard and soot onna stubble.

Wearing biggist tennis shoes I ever saw, he lost alla da buttins off his old Mackinaw.

He won't ketch kold, Polish Santa's no dope, cuz tying coat tagedder is old peece of rope.

I tries not ta laff but give a few snikkers, when I sees da big patch onna seat of his knickers.

Diss is shure Polish Santa I knows widdout fear, cuz he heads for da kichfin and opinz warm beer.

When finished wit 6 pak, he give a big smirk, reechiz inta potato sack an goes rite ta wurk.

Now, under da tree he is startin to set, most byooteeful prezzints a Polack kin get.

Dairs new bred baskit an shuvvil fer brudder, a bright red babooshka an pick-ax fer mudder.

6 quartz vodka to make papa gay.  Oy, might be big trubble in our howse to pay.

For baby I know he ain't missed her, when I sees pretty things he leaves for my sister.

Won't she be happy troo da spring anna summer, witt pipe rench an plunger, so she can play plumber.

Denn bote my eyes brighten an heart fills witt glee, wen I sees tings Polish Santa leaves ME.

Dairs wurk gloves and sledge hamnmer, my faverit tool, to wurk hard for boss when I flunks outta skule.

Witt new thermos jug, cabbage supe cannot spill, when I carries lunch onna way to stele mill.

He chugs 5 more beers an makes a wide grin.  I kin see ware da foam runs offa his chin.

Giving some burps, up da chimley he rose, while I quickly got inta alla my clothes.

I must see him leave, so's I rushes outside, an looks toward da roof, while in bushes I hide.

An what does I see as I looks troo da twigs, rusty old garbage cart pulled by 8 stinky pigs.

Polish Santa jumps in an gives dem a yell.  Come on alla youse, don't yoost sit dair an smell.

On Stella, on Stanley, on Walter an Joe, an alla youse whose names I don't know.

Fly over da junk yard an turn ta da right.  Let's visit all peeples before I gets tight.

Den I heard him say as he flew over me, "I'm da only old Polack who gives things for free!"

copyright 12-15-85 Bob Jaskolka

Do Not Call Lists

      ?!?WHAT?!?

All of a sudden, I'm getting calls from solicitors, not Sarah Palin, wanting to sell me anything and everything.  The "Do Not Call" form on the computer has a link wherein you can file a complaint.  The form asks if you requested removal.  BUT...these wise #!!**&#!s have circumvented the ruling in this fashion:  When you pick up the phone, you hear nothing.  When you say, "Hello," the taped message begins and it does NOT identify the company.  When you request removal from their list, the call is immediately disconnected.  Therefore, you can't name them on the complaint form.  If you try to redial the number, you get a "Not In Service" message.  All I can suggest is that you say nothing if you have Caller ID and don't recognize the number, but that doesn't mean they won't try later.  If anyone has a suggestion or 3, kindly pass it along.  

Ironic irony or "The department of HMMM..."

Last night's news on ABC... There's a whacked out Korean rapper who's going to "perform" in Warshington, D. C. real soon.  Previously, one of his songs(?) pleaded that a lot of murders be committed because America didn't agree with a religious(?) organization.  There were protests issued asking that this PSY...cho character not be allowed.  The current resident of the egg-shaped office said, "I have no control over who is in the show."  Hmmm.  Can he explain why nearly 5000 people have died Over There? Sad news it is that the nurse in the British hospital died.  Word is she committed suicide as a result of the prank played by an Australian morning show radio team.  If it WERE a suicide, one has to wonder if that were the only impetus.  Seems a bit strange that a relatively isolated prank would be the only cause of such a dire reaction.  However, many people are screaming that an ultimate in punishment be put upon the radio duet. Hmmm.  bernie madoff knowingly stole BILLIONS out of American retirement funds, etc., yet he spends his time laughing about it while relaxing at a taxpayer funded almost royal estate that's called a white collar prison! I'm certain you can illustrate many other examples.  These just popped into my head while waiting for the Folgers.  Incidentally, please don't chastise me for the lack of name capitalization.  Those who don't receive it, no longer deserve it.

Got Milk?

Nope!

When David Muir talks, Bob listens.....sometimes

ABC Evening News...Wednesday...11-28-12
David Muir did a nice feature on how buying American at Christmas time can create American jobs.  His take was, if everyone spent $64 of their Christmas shopping budget, a large quantity of jobs would be created in the USA.  Forgive me, as I can't recall the exact number, but it was substantial.  KUDOS, Dave!
I spend a fair number of hours throughout the year attending moving sales, downsizing sales, garage sales, estate sales, garage sales that are advertised as estate sales, swap meets, flea markets, antique malls, thrift shops and whatever other titles humans conjure up in their attempt to separate you from your dollars.  Nothing wrong with any of them.  After all, that's how many a company began.   It's also the basic form of social media, which means, you actually can look someone in the eyes, forming complete words that they'll understand, make new friends, exchange referrals, and....have some fun!  Sadly, the current economy has forced many sellers to depart with personal goods, including heirlooms, in hopes of paying a mortgage, utility, insurance or grocery bills.   But I digress.

What I saw at those aforementioned sales was an IMMENSE amount of non-USA manufactured goods.  Folks, I'm talking TONS!!!  One needn't be an alum of Wharton or MIT to see/understand what has been happening.  Not in any particular sequence...Greed caused facilities to close as manufacturing headed out of the country and Americans lost jobs.  Shareholders quickly made increased profits.  (Keep in mind that snowballs don't go uphill.)  One money person saw how rich another was becoming, so HE sold HIS company and had those goods produced in a lower labor market outside of the USA.  HE made higher and quicker profits.  More Americans lost jobs.  (Can you see the snowball now?)  As more snowballs are grown, more Americans are losing jobs.  A handful of money people are making more money and in a very short period of time.  In time, a great many Americans will not have jobs, causing the inability to afford the cheaply made products that now fill the racks and bins of American stores.  Are you getting the picture?
Back to the sales venues mentioned above.  The seller needs to raise money and has little room to haggle.  The prospective buyer has little money and wants a bargain.  The twain are having difficulty reaching an agreeable price.  The buyer moves along.  The seller makes no sale, but must pay rent if he is at a privately owned facility.  The facility owner has less vendors than in years past.  To make up, he raises the rental fees.  The sellers have to raise prices to pay the rent, but the buyers are still short on funds.  The sellers pull their wares because sales are dwindling.  The privately owned venue closes when the dwindled rental income is not enough to cover the overhead.  The local municipality loses tax revenues.  Safety and fire forces are cut.  Public assistance is pared.  Unemployment payments run out.  Less jobs are available.  Food lines increase.  More Americans are having garage sales and are setting up at flea markets.  No one has money to spend.  The sellers paid rent, but made no sales.  The venue owner didn't make enough to cover overhead and shuts down his property.  He has a garage sale the following week but no one came because there was no spendable money.  Remaining "professional" vendors are overstocked with imported items and complain to each other about the lack of sales.  I asked why they didn't sell American made goods.  They told me that the costs were too high.  I suggested they combine and buy American after negotiating better prices.  They gave me weird looks.  I asked if they were to go to a garage sale in China, might they see items made in America?  More weird looks.

SO...great advice from David Muir.  However, when the Christmas season is over, what then?  Well, I'LL tell you what then!  Go to your local establishments.  Trust me...when you look, you'll find many.  Explain how you'd love to keep them in business by purchasing their American made goods, but because your income is shaky at best, you'll need a discount.  If he can understand that he'll stay in business by allowing an equitable discount, as opposed to closing down from zero sales, it can catch on!  Ask your friends to do the same.  Know ye this: You MUST CONTINUE the practice to make it successful.  You can actually do without something once in awhile.  In a recent interview, I heard a man ask, "If you had to leave your home in 30 minutes, what would you take?"  That's a good start.  In time, jobs CAN return!  I fully realize I'll be branded insane, but the collective stance is what got this country going in the first place and made it a success for more than 200 years!  Don't let the power driven take what is yours. 

The rich are rich partly due to the risks they took and the long range sight they had and continue to have.  They shouldn't have to pay for everything.  After all, it was their money that made a lot possible.  Our government must look inside the monstrous house they allowed to grow and begin trimming therein.  With a computer driven world, the government keeps adding people to the payroll, making it the largest employer in the land.  Stop voting for people who truly don't care about you.  Vote for those with proven financial success.  I could go on, but don't wish to veer too far off track.

Hey Buddy, "Kudzu Paradigm?"

An idle coal truck on Upper Second Creek Road, just outside of Hazard, Kentucky

Covered in Kudzu.  Paradigm Shift = Work truck but No work for truck

Black Friday is history.  Many stores continue their sales in hopes of a successful year.  I'm now treating that hectic shopping fiasco as I do New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day...I stay home.

I just double-checked the local newspaper from the past few days.  Thursday, in addition to the stuff till you puff day of Thanksgiving, was anniversary No. 49 of JFK's assassination.  No mention of it.  Perhaps "they" forgot/moved on/stopped caring.

In any event, you may now spin the old radio dial and officially start your holiday spirit by listening to the repeated playing of the same 20-some songs until you consider a self-inflicted round of water boarding.  2 years back, I contacted the local FM's Program Manager about there being many more tunes available.  His response is permanently filed under, "Canned answers containing zero sense"

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Near Lake Erie, the temperature is a "torrid 31", with a slight breeze and a bit of snow flurries.  Somewhere, people are setting up the Christmas tree while, "It's a Wonderful Life" spins in the CD player; Moms are teaching daughters the art of cookie baking; Dads are joining sons with hopes of watching their favorite college football team win a berth in a holiday bowl game. I wonder if anyone still strings pop corn.  Somewhere else, there are battles being fought in foreign lands while others are trying to rebuild after losing homes and loved ones during the tragic storm called, "Sandy."

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For some unexplained reason, I spot and hear oddities or coincidences that I am compelled to share.  Whether the "excitement" is shared or not depends upon reader mood.  I know SOMEbody reads them, because there are those willing to recommend something to do with couches.

Moving on...while watching a college football game, I noticed that Dustin Fox, current ABC commentator and former Ohio State defensive back, bears a resemblance to Joey Tribiani, from "Friends."  At any moment, I expected Dustin to utter the famous, "How YOU doin?"  Another birth separation is baseball announcer Ken Rosenthal and Pee Wee Herman...not to be outdone by the pairing of San Francisco Giant right fielder, Hunter Pence and comedian, Chris Elliott.

I'm drawn to reading the mini disclaimers at the bottom of teevee commercials.  Progressive Insurance displays a "no kidding" by telling us that, "Prices vary based on how you buy."  Okaaaay.  Not to be outdone, Ford shows a vehicle soaring off a cliff as the disclaimer informs us, "Professional driver, closed course, do not attempt, cars can't fly."  THANK YOU!!!  (WAY too many lawyers these days)

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What you don't see anymore: Burma Shave signs; Sign that cautions, "Quiet-Hospital Zone."  Remember when people would stick their tongue out when they disagreed with you?